My beautiful wife and I were talking the other day and I was reminded of a story from my young-hood that may explain a lot. How I've come to be... always wrong. It's a great story, if I may say, which I did, so it is, and it's all completely true.
Back in my formative years in middle school, around grade 7 or so, I was labeled a troubled youth. I guess the teachers were afraid that I'd end up like some hatchet wielding murderer abusing small rodents or something. I'm not really sure. I was a quiet shy boy, that kept to myself. I read a lot and I thought a lot. Which I guess is the part they had issues with... "always ... thinking." In an effort to make sure I didn't stray from the path of a good WASP and think too much, they had me visit the guidance counselors from time to time. The last time I went they gave me a writing assignment. Cool! Something just up my alley ... this will be fun. I was totally happy I got out of Math class for this one - it's cool. They told me to write an essay about "If you could be anything when you grow up, what would you be?"
Perfect, I thought to my self, I know exactly the answer to this! If I could be anything, I would be a tree. In an essay that rivaled Ralphie Parker's Red Rider BB Gun essay I explained that I would be a tree, digging my toes into the earth, feeling the moisture and comfort that it brings. I would spread my arms to the heavens, getting my nutrients from the sun. I could feel the wind through my leaves, I would grow big and strong - I would be an Oak. I would give shelter to birds, squirrels, and all sorts of natures creatures. Children could climb me, maybe tie a Goodyear tire to me and make a swing - I would help fill the air with the laughter of children.
After the guidance counselor read it, guess what they said? "This is wrong"
What? How can it be wrong? You asked me if I could be anything, what would I be, and I did.
"But .... this is wrong ..."
They were never able to tell me why I answered wrong. I can only assume they meant I was supposed to write about a career path or something. But there you go - the start of me being Always Wrong.
16 comments:
WTF?! That's not wrong! That's beautiful. Just goes to show you how little guidance counselors actually know.
I stumbled across this blog on Google and I just read every single one of your entries. I have to say, you sound like you've been doing a great (if not humorous) job as a father (and husband), and a lot of what you've written here is reflective of my experiences from when I was a teen (and it has only been a few years since). Much of your sentiments reflect that of my father's, even when I pushed into my early twenties. The fights never end! (read: potential in-laws) So much of your sarcasm is just so true. Thank you so much for writing this and I hope to see more entries in the future!
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