Many many years ago, I was looking in the mirror trying to figure out a hair style that would look good on a slightly overweight, approaching middle age, balding white man. After a few minutes of staring and the fast-receding hairline I decided there wasn't one. So I said to myself, "Self - lets just buzz it all off." So I reached under the bathroom cabinet and pulled out the clippers, plugged them in and no sooner than I turned them on, my wife comes running into the bathroom asking what I think I'm doing. So I told her.
She snatched the clippers out of my hand and said, "Give me that, you'll screw it up." So really - who am I to argue and I let her cut my hair off. It was a glorious experience, one which I haven't done since High School. The feeling of the wind on your scalp on a hot day is marvelous.
The buzz has since migrated to a complete shave. I've been shaving for several years now and really have no thoughts of letting what little hair I have left grow back out. It's gone, I need to let it rest. Trying to let it grow back out would be like the high-school jock trying to relive his former football glory days - sad, pointless, and likely to end in injury.
As I lathered up my head and got some water nice and hot I noticed some things were out of place in our bathroom but really didn't think anything of it. I like to warm up the razor in the hot water, feels good against my skin. I gently yet firmly grasp my razor, look in the mirror, make the silly man-shave-face and pull the razor smoothly across my scalp....
and almost die from the pain. Hundreds, no ... not hundreds ... thousands of tiny red dots are slowly oozing from my head as I start to bleed from countless tiny cuts from what should have been a smooth shave, free of pain. I inspected the razor, looking for an army of tiny-sized samurai sword wielding gnomes hiding in my razor only to see that the razor I thought was new was actually used. I inquire about this through the door and was informed that T had used my razor earlier because she was out.
What is it about a girls leg hair that so perfectly destroys a good razor? I have leg hair - it's not that bad. Does the hair on a female leg slowly turn into wire?
Why didn't she replace the blade for me then? Oh - that's right. IT WAS THE LAST ONE.
So the blade-thieving had to roll down hill. I ended up taking my wifes Lady Venus and used that (with a fresh blade). And you know what?
It worked pretty well. Don't tell her, but I still use it from time to time.
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